Let’s hop in the car again for our annual, albeit incomplete, tour and grading of our local holiday light displays: 

—We’ll start on west Hastings, just north of Sheridan. This annual colorful display across from the New Life Church is always a high light (geddit?) locally. Rating: A

—Want more color? Check out the 4300 block of Lopez, just east of San Juan. An annual dazzling display. A-minus. Then head down to the north end of Lopez for more color.

—At Clay and Polk, the large chess board is a treat. B

—Lawrence at Quincy: Lots of color here. B

—At the east end of Lawrence, the big tree is always a towering eyeful. 

—On Thomas north of 9th, the football big blue 12 on the garage roof is back this year. Go Hawks! B-plus 

—Coming into town, at Mill Road and Sims, we are annually treated to an eye-captivating blue-light show that reminds one a bit of the huge, multimillion-light display over at the Seven Cedars casino. A

Speaking of the recommended drive over toward the casino lights,  hundreds of holiday ornaments once again festoon the trees along the drive over to Diamond Point this year.  

— Finally, our indisputable annual winner triumphantly returns, with an even gaudier display than last year. We have our own Clark “Christmas Vacation” Griswold. 

Be prepared for flashing lights, a la Las Vegas. It’s on McNeill Street, off 35th, just west of San Juan. You can see this one for blocks away. Homeowner Michael Ridgway has been working for weeks on this display, even climbing a tree to mount lights (when his wife’s away, probably). “I’ve added 800 more lights this year,” he told me, bringing it to a total of…18,000!  And again, Ridgway has a radio station playing Christmas songs that you can pick up blocks away, plus he has “several buckets” of candy canes for you  sightseers. A fitting Claus climax. A-plus.

 —I apologize if your display isn’t listed here on this admittedly incomplete list, but we appreciate all your colorful displays. Do drive around town and enjoy our colorful winter lights. 

—A Christmas office party I’ll not forget is one we had in a large ballroom in Oakland for the staff of the Oakland Tribune. The big room was poorly lit. There was a short woman in black standing next to me whom I vaguely recognized. Then it hit me…it was none other than Shirley Temple Black, who, I’d forgotten, was on our newspaper’s Board of Directors. 

—There are many worthwhile local charities who could use your  holiday donations. My wife and I give to ECCHO and our local  Humane Society. Find your own or donate to these two worthy ones. 

 —A pool for all the ages: Last week, during my regular swim at our aging pool (a good metaphor here) I chatted with my swimming friend Barbara, who is now 92. Swimming past us: A four-month-old, with his Mommy. 

— My annual family-friendly Christmas joke: Santa will be missing a reindeer this year. Why? A. Comet has to stay home and clean the sink. 

 Finally, to employ PT-speak, Non-sectarian holiday greetings to all! 

(Contact Santa Bill at Newsmann9@gmail.com)