Bill Mann

I miss Canada, and especially Vancouver, certainly one of the world’ s loveliest cities. I have a son and two grandkids up there I haven’t been able to see in months. 

As you come into Vancouver on Highway 99, the extension to I-5, there’s an eye-catching sign just across the Oak Street bridge. It says that this is the first stoplight since ... Tijuana! It’s true. 

Speaking of stoplights, I love this: On many of Vancouver’s main streets, the lights stay green unless a pedestrian hits a crosswalk button. You can cruise a long way before seeing a red light. 

I don’t blame COVID-conscious Canadians one bit for not wanting mask-averse Yanks in their healthier country. The pandemic up there is much more under control, largely because Canadians believe in — brace yourself — consideration for others and working together. 

— BTW, first-rate Canadian comedy “Schitt’s Creek,” which swept the Emmys recently, starts on Comedy Central this Friday. I watched this gay-inclusive series since it began. Do check it out. 

Victoria, where my grandson began college last month, is also quite lovely. It’s where Brits, Scots and Canadians go to die. Canada’s version of God’s waiting room. 

— One of the few reasons I used to go to Port Angeles was to catch the MV Coho up to Victoria. And to have our Prius serviced.

I was interested in getting a Prius Prime plug-in, but alas, it’s not Prime time. A Wilder Toyota salesman recently informed me, “We don’t have any — and we won’t be getting any.” Why not?  “They’re all being shipped to Portland.” 

On the way out of town, headed to PT, another downer: We got stuck behind a pickup truck festooned with huge Trump banners. Yuck.

— Our recent bad-air house arrest was tough to get through, and it also gave me another bad habit: Constantly checking air-quality web pages. 

— Speaking of social media, I love a Twitter feed called Room Rater. It gives ratings of the backgrounds in the shots of the media and political people who now do live feeds from their homes. The one of Lindsey Graham’s home is rated, “Fake Flower, Real Hypocrite. 2/10.” An MSNBC screen grab of Montana Sen. Jon Tester’s D.C. home says, “Great stair view. Depth. Art. Flat top. 9/10” Speaking of this, I cringed at genial Seahawks tonsil Steve Raible’s home live shots. Before he recently retired from KIRO-TV, news anchor Raible would do his Channel 7 feed in front of two hideous baroque prints. They looked like yard-sale remainders. 

— Gotta ask again: With this county’s standout masking compliance and low COVID infection rate (as of last week, THE lowest of any county in the state) I have to wonder why we haven’t re-applied to Olympia to move JeffCo — cautiously — to Stage 3. 

There was a brief mention recently to health director Dr. Tom Locke about the county possibly doing this at the Supes meeting. And we should/could. We need our library, pool and health club back. We’ve earned it. The understandably cautious Guv might be persuaded to reward our diligence and use this county as an example of compliance. 

— Middle Age Riot, on Twitter, speaks for many of us: “Mitch McConnell is 78 years old with a history of heart problems. It would be better if we beat him at the polls, but I wouldn’t be opposed to sneaking up behind him with bubble wrap.” 

— Is this a health hazard? I actually look forward to visits with my capable cardiologist, not just  because of his medical expertise and good advice, but also to hear his informed vents about BLOTUS. It’s good therapy for both of us. I feel your pain, Doc. 

— Finally, these recent headlines from peerless New Yorker humorist Andy Borowitz: “Justice Kavanaugh Warns Expanding Size of Court Would Require More Kegs.” And: “Trump Suspected of Altering CDC Website After CDC Is Misspelled.” 

(You can reach PT humorist Bill Mann at Newsmann9@gmail.com.)