Plump older women don’t write underwear commercials. 

There was an ad on TV recently. It was geared to entice us senior gals. Comfy, stretchy, no hooks, good support, choice of colors and, best of all, they assured, “This bra doesn’t roll.”

Just so happens, I have that very bra and while it is stretchy and supporting with no hooks and a variety of colors, IT MOST DEFINITELY ROLLS! Unless your bod under your boobs is flat as a pancake, that pretty pink undy is going to bunch.

There was a time when I was a tad younger, running five miles a day, weighing 128 lbs., sans my middle-aged spread when that little garment wouldn’t have budged.

But today is a different story. First of all, it’s a pain in the rump just wriggling into it. Using the step-in method means hauling it up and over bum and hips, getting straps on shoulders and maneuvering stuff into place (takes a bit of scooping and positioning of parts).

Secondly, as soon as I bend over and boobs meet tummy, the garment that doesn’t roll rolls. And while I do plan (every once in a while) to tighten my abs, for the time being this piece of clothing is not comfy and only worn on the rare occasions I put on a tight-fitting top.

But there is a middle ground that takes care of my middle round. Enter the easy on and off, no hooks, no wires, no squish truly comfortable camisole.

No, there’s not a lot of support and wearing form-fitting tops is out, but these babies don’t curl, and my comfort level is through the roof. They’re quite feminine and pretty, stretchy and soft with lace trim, come in a variety of colors, and are perfect under tunic tops, loose blouses, sweatshirts and baggy sweaters.

The days of boob confining pinching brassieres meeting up with the top of my gut are over. I recently bought another stylish tunic and rolled that “no roll” strangler to the back of the drawer.

While we’re on the subject of undergarments, here’s some good info for all you comfort-seeking guys. When I was working as a personal trainer, I taught classes in a hospital wellness program. Our clients had a variety of physical issues and were advised to wear good, supportive shoes and light, breathable clothing.

The women mostly wore loose fitting tops and slacks and the men sweatpants. But one gentleman took the apparel advice to the max and showed up for class in new Nike walking shoes, a tee shirt, and plaid pajama bottoms.

I was a bit ill at ease. All during class I fretted over how to handle this situation without calling attention to the guy and, most importantly, without being insulting. Was it really an issue? Was I overreacting? Was anyone else even noticing?

When we sat in our circle to do some weight training, an older no-nonsense outspoken woman, and favorite student of mine, saved the day with a quick comment. “Well, bud,” she said loud and clear, “I get the comfort concept and really like the colorful red plaid, but you damn well better be wearing something under those pj’s.”

The others in class all relaxed some, nodding inconspicuously. Can’t tell you how much I appreciated her candor that saved me an embarrassing conversation. While we were a laid-back, live- and let-live community, I did heartily agree with the woman’s bold statement and felt the fellow needed the input.

The next class day the man came up to me (in his pj’s) and whispered, “No worries, always got my undies on.” Gave him a high five and warm smile. And the takeaway for all you free-spirited guys - when wearing pajamas in public “semper ubi sub ubi.”

Carole Marshall is a former columnist, feature writer for a national magazine, author of three books. Her writing focus today is on the often fun, often daunting concept of AGING IN GOOD SPIRITS. She is Mom, Grandma, Great-Grandma to some spectacular kiddos.