Flying somewhere for Christmas? Many of you will, but not me. Not in the front of the plane, anyway. 

Ho ho oh no! Why? I’ve walked away from two plane crashes. 

Now, when I do fly, it is in the passenger compartment. 

(In only one of the pair of small-plane mishaps, both  botched landings, was I the pilot.)

So, my Christmas stocking now has one permanent item … my dusty pilot’s license. My wings have been voluntarily clipped — and for good reason.  Some people don’t make good pilots, and I’m one of them, despite all my extensive and expensive pilot training. I’ll let the airline pros wearing the gold stripes handle my holiday flying, thank you.

 — Something that will be missing this holiday season on the radio: mega-talented Dave Ross, who retires as morning man at Seattle’s highly rated KIRO-FM next week. Ross, a long-time Seattle radio fixture, has great pipes (meaning a good voice in radiospeak) and he’s been doing clever, witty commentaries for years on the CBS Radio Network. (I became a fan years ago when Ross was syndicated on San Francisco’s KCBS). The multitalented Ross was also the star of Seattle’s recently — and regrettably now shuttered  —  Gilbert and Sullivan comic opera troupe. I’ll miss Dave’s  well-modulated, stentorian tones, both on the air and in his patter songs on stage.

 — Speaking of local radio, my physician and bass player Dr. Gary Forbes, has a weekly rock/R&B show, “Soundings,” on Thursdays at 6:30 on KPTZ here. One tune he probably won’t be playing: Humble Pie’s hard-rocking  “I Don’t Need No Doctor.” …

— Even more radio: For years, arguably the funniest woman in morning drive nationally has been Stephanie Miller, daughter of Barry Goldwater’s running mate. A feisty anti-Trumper, she says things have gone from Nixon’s “I’m not a crook” to Donny T’s  “Yea, I’m a crook…so what?” You can tune in  weekdays from 6 to 9 a.m. Pacific on Chicago’s WCPT Radio, streaming it online. Be sure to check out this show. 

Since  the election, Miller’s comedy-centric radio show has been a much-needed political tonic. So, too,  is MSNBC‘s Lawrence O’Donnell, whose “West Wing” writing experience and biting sarcasm on his show at 7 p.m. weeknights make for a strong panacea against Trump’s daily ineptitude … ABC’s late-night guy Jimmy Kimmel: “Know why Trump visited Notre Dame? He thinks it’d make a good casino.”

Speaking of casinos, it’s well worth the trip over to Blyn to check out Seven Cedars’ impressive annual holiday lights display … And while we’re on the subject of holiday lights, I’ll have the yearly review of PT’s best displays in my next piece. If you want an advance look, consider last year’s (perennial) winner, on McNeill Street north of 22nd, it is already fully lit. 

— Watching the Seahawks has been a pleasure this fall, no matter where this season eventually ends up.  Pro tip: I  learned this football-viewing trick working as a TV critic: Want to watch an NFL game in about half the time that it takes most viewers? Here’s how: I start recording games at the opening kickoff and don’t watch it until 30 minutes or so has transpired. Then I can go back to start and scan past all the commercials — and also many of the breaks on the field between plays. (Does anyone really need to watch multiple pizza and pickup-truck commercials?) In case you didn’t know.

Speaking of ultra-annoying TV commercials, the recent talk about deporting people reminds me that for years I’ve written in favor of deporting just one  — Flo, from Progressive Insurance. There’s only one commercial I know of that is as obnoxious as the ones featuring Flo and her cohorts — those ubiquitous 1-800-Kars-For-Kids spots, which I always, instantly tune out.  

 — Finally, here in senior-centric PT, where conversations are often semi-humorously called “organ recitals,” reader Barb S. says that when people ask her, “How are you doing?” Her answer is often, “My lab tests aren’t back yet.” 

You can reach out to PT humorist Bill Mann at Newsmann9@gmail.com