Imagine a world without rock. Earth would consist only of water and atmosphere. Land animals wouldn’t exist because land wouldn’t exist. And yet we seldom give rock much thought.

Representatives of the Olympic Peninsula’s most common rock types--Messrs. Basalt, Sandstone and Slate--sat down with me in early November and shared some of their most intimate thoughts. This is an edited excerpt from our conversation.

Doggett: What are a few of your earliest childhood memories?

Basalt: Mostly I recall extreme heat. More than 90% of all volcanic rock on Earth is Basalt. But, you know, I’m not just an Earthling. The plains of Venus are basaltic and I’m a common sight on the Moon and Mars. Just ask NASA. They’ll tell you: I’m a freakin’ rockstar.

Sandstone: More like a rock chuck, Basalt. Me? I had a colorful childhood. Unlike uncemented sand--think grains of sand--I have many colors at once: tan, brown, yellow, red, grey, pink, white, black. People travel many miles to see me. I’m a colorful character!

Slate: Yeah, you’re a colorful character, Sandstone, like Crayons and just as dense. I was always the sharpest rock in school due to the way my mineral-rich body sometimes splits into razor-sharp shards. But I’m also durable. Just ask a roofer.

Doggett: What are your greatest dislikes?

Basalt: First, the expression “blank slate” refers to absence of knowledge for a reason; Slate, you’re no Einstein. To the question: I dislike roots. Too clingy. The Buddha taught us that the root of suffering is attachment. So true.

Sandstone: I don’t like it when a dog sniffs me and then lifts a leg and then—

Doggett: Thank you for that, Mr. Sandstone, we get the picture. Mr. Slate?

Slate: There’s what Sandstone said plus dogs sometimes lick me because, well, who knows? A dog, I guess. Rocks don’t have noses, but we can smell. Two words: Dog breath.

Doggett: The greatest musical genre of all time is rock ‘n’ roll, and yet except for The Rolling Stones one’s hard-pressed to name a band with “rock” or “stone” in it. Why is that?

Basalt: Got me.

Sandstone: What Basalt said.

Slate: Are you high?

Doggett: Who or what has had the greatest influence on you?

Basalt: Gravity. I’m virtually everywhere but I can’t go anywhere. The Buddha said, “It is better to travel well than to arrive.” I wouldn’t know. Because of my weight I can’t even walk. (Sniffle.)

Sandstone: Poor you, Basalt. I’d say that iron oxide has had a big impact on me. It’s a mineral containing iron and oxygen that cements grains of sand together to create me, the Incomparable Mr. Sandstone. The mineral is usually in the form of hematite, a.k.a. rust. It gives me a reddish-orange color in many places, such as Arches National Park. I’m famous for my colors.

Slate: Yeah, and you’re repetitive, Sandman. Here’s a fact that’s actually interesting: I was formed in low heat and low pressure. It’s why some fossils can be found inside me, sometimes even the microscopic remains of delicate organisms.

Doggett: Is there a philosophy or religion by which you live?

Basalt: By now you’ve deduced that I’m a Buddhist. Buddhism offers a variety of teachings on how to live a good life, including the Five Precepts. They are abstaining from killing living beings, stealing, sexual misconduct, false speech, and intoxicants and harmful drugs. Sometimes the land under me gives way and I crush a creature. Otherwise, I abstain.

Sandstone: Can I get back to you on that?

Slate: It’s more like religion believes in me. Because builders trust me to last for centuries, I comprise parts of St. Paul’s Cathedral in England, the Cobh Cathedral in Ireland, the Nidaros Cathedral in Norway and many other cathedrals. Castles, too.

Doggett: What’s your favorite color?

Basalt: Dark gray to black.

Sandstone: Orange. No, red. No--argh! Why do I get the tough questions?

Slate: Your readers likely think that I’ll say gray is my favorite color, because I often appear in medium-dark gray with hints of blue--a ravishing combination if I do say so myself. But I can be gray, blue, greenish gray, dark red, black, tan, and even purplish gray.

Doggett: All of you are very old and have no doubt overheard much. Please share a secret.

Basalt: It seems you are asking for gossip, Doggett. I’m not a gossiper, but since you ask: Socrates didn’t like asking questions. I got that gem from a reliable agate.

Sandstone: “Sharon Stone” is not her real name. It’s “Sharon Vonne Stone.”

Slate: Sandstone, you were formed 400 million years ago and that’s the best you’ve got? Here are just a few of the things I’ve overheard: Judas was framed, T. rex was a vegan, and Lennon said the walrus was Paul but it was Ringo.

Doggett: Do you have any predictions that you’d like to share?

Basalt: The darkest hour is just before the dawn.

Sandstone: Basalt, that’s not a prediction. It’s a line from a Crosby, Stills & Nash song.

Slate: Elon Musk will succeed at colonizing Mars and every early adopter will be homesick.

Scott Doggett is a former staff writer for the Outdoors section of the Los Angeles Times. He and his wife, Susan Englen, live in Port Townsend.